Free Standing Shelving

Do u like my poem>?<?

[[[[{{{{Hang<H>er}}}}}}}]]]] u say things of hate and anger u walk in and out Like a starnger u whisper to me "kill one's self" you leave me to sit on the shelve you close the box and take away the light i tell you "i promise i'll make it all right" you both attack me and you both kill i try to take the little pill something stoped me i dont know why but once seconded i wanted to die and in another i was okay free from all you said today. it's still locked in my mind. but the past is far behind. why do u hate me? why do i cry? why so badly do i want to die? i try to cover it all up but u cant drink blood from the cup our lord and christ is our "savior" but all we follow is misbehvaior he tells u to leave our house but u hide like a mouse you dont stand up you dont fight back you just let him come an attack im me to c it all.lol.

Public Comments

1. It isn't the best i have read
2. COOL
3. Woah, you got off beat, sorry but I give it a 6.
4. I haveb't read it I have no idea!! Oh heres a tip toooo long!!!!
5. ewwwwwww bravoooooo , its pretty good 10 from 10
6. honestly, not really. your heart is in it though so props for that.
7. Well it's kinda long. It has heart but your trying too hard to rhyme. Instead of trying to rhyme just let it flow. It's also a bit of a clique. Try taking what you want to say, and wording it in a whole different way. A way that no one else would word it. Like instead of saying "You say things of hate" you can say "Words of hatred spew over your spiteful lips" It says the same thing but with more emotion and action. At the line of "but u cant/drink blood/from the cup/our lord and christ" you kinda lose me. Keep you flow and make sure the reader understands what you trying to say Try using some of these literal devices - imagery: The use of vivid or figurative language to represent objects, actions, or ideas - metaphors: An implied comparison of two things - similes: An explicit comparison between two things - alliteration: A series of words that begin with the same letter or sound alike - anthropomorphism: applying human qualities to inanimate objects, animals, or natural phenomena - oxymorons: Using two terms together, that normally contradict each other